Kintsugi:  Embracing the Brokenness

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.

-Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

In week 17 of the 2005 NFL season, the San Diego Chargers hosted the Denver Broncos in the regular season finale.  With 3:37 left before halftime, the Chargers offense lines up on their own 8-yard line with twin receivers out right and left.  Drew Brees stands in the shotgun with LaDainian Tomlinson to his right.  Antonio Gates goes into motion as Brees leans forward and calls for the snap.  

After faking the handoff to Tomlinson, Brees drops back and rolls to his right.  He sets his feet on the goal line as his he prepares to pass, unaware that the Broncos’ DB John Lynch is coming unimpeded from the left side.  As Brees pulls his right arm back, Lynch gets to him, dislodging the ball.  The ball fumbles to the right as Brees quickly recovers and makes a beeline for it.  He dives for the ball as the Broncos’ DT Gerard Warren and DB Sam Brandon do the same.  The simultaneous contact of all three players results in a catastrophic injury for Brees.

Brees had dislocated his shoulder through the bottom of the joint, suffering a 360-degree tear of his labrum and a 50% tear in his rotator cuff.  A devastating injury for a quarterback.  The odds were very high that he would never play football again.  “I knew exactly what my injury was when I got up off the ground,” Brees said.  “I could feel that, basically, my shoulder was out of place.”  He continued, “I thought to myself, you know, this is probably the last time I ever put on a Charger uniform.  And then reality really sinks in, and I say this might be the last time I ever put on a football uniform.”

The following Thursday, Brees flew to Birmingham to see renowned orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews. After his evaluation, Dr. Andrews told Brees that the injury was significant, but the extent couldn’t be determined until he was in surgery.  The major concern for Brees was whether Dr. Andrews would have to make a cut, a long incision that would undoubtedly lengthen the recovery time.  To make matters worse, Brees was at the end of a contract year and with Philip Rivers waiting in the shadows, it was almost certain that the Chargers would not resign him.  And a lengthy recovery made any free agency possibilities bleak.  

Brees came out of surgery to discover that Dr. Andrews did not have to make a cut but was able to do the whole thing arthroscopically.  The surgery, according to the doctor, could not have gone any better.  “If I did that surgery a hundred times, I couldn’t do it as good as I did it this time,” Dr. Andrews remarked in his distinctive Southern accent.  “I did my job, now it’s on you.”

The next step?  8 months of rehab with no more than a 25% chance of every playing football again.  Brees was determined to defy the odds.  He set his goal, worked hard every day, and beat every benchmark that the doctors set for him. 

As for his NFL career?  When the Chargers released him, Brees received interest from two teams, the Miami Dolphins and the New Orleans Saints.  I think we all know what happened . . . Brees signed with the Saints (when the Dolphins medical staff would not clear him) and the rest is history.

Career Accomplishments

This is just a small sampling of all that Drew Brees was able to accomplish in his career, and most of it AFTER his injury.  

Kintsugi – Embracing the Brokenness

I don’t think you could find a better example of overcoming a tragedy to come back stronger than before.  In the Japanese culture, this is the ideal of Kintsugi.  An offshoot of the philosophy of wabi sabi, which is centered on the acceptance of impermanence and imperfection, kintsugi is an art form that embraces flaws and imperfections.  This type of art is created by reassembling broken pottery pieces with sap that has been dusted with powdered gold or silver.  The result is a work of art that honors and proudly displays the brokenness and imperfections as being part of the history of the piece, instead of trying to disguise or hide the flaws.  Reassembling the pottery shards creates something new, beautiful, and unique.  Incredibly, this newly created piece is more valuable than it was before.

It is not hard to see the parallels between the journey of the broken pottery and our own lives.  We are all broken. We’ve been through battles that have left us bruised and scarred.  These scars may appear as physical, emotional, visible, or hidden. How we react and deal with them is up to us.  

Do we try to hide them?  Ignore them?  That’s the easy road.  The pain you feel at losing a child or the resentment and anger over losing a job . . . we tend to bury these away.  The guilt over a lost relationship or the shame you feel when you have not lived up to the expectations placed on you . . . it is easier to ignore them or place blame on everyone else.  Playing the martyr is more desirable than admitting any personal responsibility.  

The philosophy of kintsugi says we should accept all this-the hurt, pain, guilt, shame, and resentment. Acknowledge them for what they are but then move past and learn from them.  Grow from them.  Accept that who you are today is a result of all your past experiences, good or bad.  

I occasionally find myself playing the “what if” game.  What if I had done this, or what if I had done that? How different would my life have turned out?  What if I had taken my Godmother up on her offer to stay with her so I could remain at my old high school instead of moving across the state with my family the summer before my senior year?  No doubt my athletic scholarship possibilities would have greatly improved.  I would never have had to leave my friends with whom I had grown up.  Life would have remained easy and predictable.  

But if I had stayed, I would not have met the teacher who a decade later would set me up on a blind date with my future wife.  We would never have experienced our miscarriages and we might not be as close as we are to this day.  And to be honest, if all of that had not happened, Fraternity of Men might never have been created.  Instead of letting my grief get the best of me, I accepted that it was okay to be mad about it and even okay to grieve and to be sad, but it was not okay to let it defeat me.  How could I take this hurt and use it to try and make the world a better place?  How could I arrange the pieces and glue them together to create something of value?

Look at Drew Brees.  He would not let himself become a victim to his catastrophic injury.  No.  He fought back, determined as ever to return to the gridiron.  Daily he followed the doctor’s orders.  He pushed through the pain and the discomfort.  He would not let failure become an option.  And when he did return to the field, he put together a Hall of Fame career and became one of the greatest QB’s to ever play the game. 

Accept where you are and realize that you are the sum of your experiences.  If you are broken, let God pick up the pieces and put you back together.  This is not easy.  It is much simpler to just wallow in self-pity or anger, but sometimes you must be broken for God to be able to reassemble the pieces in just the right way for you to be used for His plan.  

And just like the pieces of art, you are even more valuable after He has put you back together.  Let your cracks be a part of your story and testimony.  Realize that, just like the pottery, every piece is unique.  You are the only you.  No one else can live your life or tell your story.  Be strong at the broken places . . . God made you to be exactly who you are . . . and last I checked, He never makes a mistake.